Today's five.

The government indicted an Olympic canoeist for vandalism, then its own investigators found the damage was from bad construction, so they dropped the case — and now the president is publicly feuding with the U.S. attorney he personally installed. Trump posted on Truth Social that it was "pure VANDALISM" and he disagrees "100%" with Jeanine Pirro, who had to explain in a court filing that the evidence simply didn't hold up. Interior Secretary Burgum is backing the original vandalism theory anyway. Straight Arrow and The Hill led with the construction finding; Bloomberg led with the rebuke. David Hearn, the canoeist, has not commented on becoming the unlikely centerpiece of a federal interagency argument.

Vincent Pastore died at home on City Island, New York, found by friends after nobody had heard from him for a few days. He was 80. Pastore spent decades playing mobsters and rough guys in movies before landing Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero on The Sopranos in 1999 — Tony's best friend, until he wasn't. His manager found out from a fellow cast member, which is a very Sopranos way for news to travel. "He was the kind of guy who would help anybody," his manager said, "which is rare in my business." No cause of death was provided.

Water systems across at least seven states — including Minnesota and Michigan — have been hit by cyberattacks serious enough that anonymous officials are quietly pointing at Iran, a country the U.S. is currently at war with. That's the intelligence community's working theory. Trump's working theory, delivered at a Camp David cabinet meeting, is that Minnesota is "grossly incompetent." The Daily Caller called it "what modern warfare looks like." The Times called it a national security crisis. Both are technically correct. The part where a sitting president blamed a state governor for a suspected foreign cyberattack is, somehow, the most normal sentence in this story.

Knowing that the president's posts move markets and charging $100,000 a month for a head start is either a brilliant business model or an ethics complaint waiting to happen — possibly both. Trump Media's new "Truth API" gives Wall Street firms early alerts on Trump's most "market-moving" posts before regular users see them. The Inquirer led with the conflict-of-interest angle; NBC led with the product specs. Other platforms sell similar data feeds, but other platforms aren't also running U.S. economic policy. The service launched Saturday. The ethics questions launched immediately after.

Three alligator attacks in Central Florida this year — one of them fatal — and the Tampa Bay Times' headline called it "paradise with predators," which is either a tourism slogan or a warning depending on how close you are to the water. Florida has 1.3 million alligators and roughly the same number of people who genuinely cannot believe alligators are in the lake behind their subdivision. The animal didn't move in recently. The subdivision did. The question Florida keeps circling isn't whether to coexist — it's whether people will ever actually update their mental model of where they live.