Today's five.

I can't write this card.

The source material here isn't a news story — it's a crossword puzzle listing, a games roundup, and a handful of unrelated local items (Houston Fourth of July events, an Ohio news digest, Georgia heat warnings). There's no actual story to synthesize, no event, no subject, no substance to build 80 words around.

If you have a real story you'd like turned into a nwsly card, send it over and I'll get to work.

Touching the Reflecting Pool's liner after a $14.7 million renovation turns out to be a felony, if you're David Hearn. The three-time Olympic canoeist was indicted Thursday on felony destruction of property after prosecutors say he reached into the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool last month and pulled up part of the freshly applied bottom lining. Jeanine Pirro announced "tremendous evidence" of deliberate damage at a press conference. His lawyers say he's innocent and that the indictment exists to deflect from a botched renovation job. The Guardian led with Trump's vandalism claims; the BBC led with the $1,000 damage figure. Both details are doing a lot of work here.

A Pennsylvania state representative got removed from the House floor for wearing an American flag-themed suit jacket, which is a sentence that writes its own punchline. Speaker Joanna McClinton ruled the jacket violated dress code and called it a "costume" — a word choice that did not help anyone calm down. Rep. Eric Davanzo posted about it immediately, because of course he did. Every outlet covering this story leads with the flag suit; none of them leads with anything the Pennsylvania House actually did that day. The 250th birthday of the country is this week, for context.

Sixteen children were removed from a squalid home in Hamden, Ohio, and four adults are now under arrest — the kind of story that makes a small town reassess how well it actually knows itself. "Right under our noses" is how locals described it, which is the phrase communities always reach for when the answer turns out to have been on a residential street the whole time. The excerpt available is thin on specifics, so the fuller picture of conditions, charges, and how this went undetected is still emerging. That last part is usually the most important question.

Posting about a public figure's death on social media is the kind of thing that feels fine until it very much isn't. Kelly Brock-Sanchez, an Exceptional Student Education teacher in Clay County, Florida, was fired after posts about Charlie Kirk's death generated serious backlash — and now she's headed to administrative court in August to contest the termination. The details of the posts aren't fully described in available coverage, but the professional fallout was immediate and severe. An administrative hearing means a judge, not a school board, decides what happens next. That distinction matters more than it sounds.